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Stable Living
Five equine veterinarians share their experiences of balancing work, family, relationships and everything else that exists beyond veterinary medicine.
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I don’t consider myself a
superstitious person. It has always seemed silly to believe in such things. As
the Stevie Wonder song lyrics go, When you believe in things you don’t
understand Then you suffer Superstition
ain’t the way, no, no, no. That’s right, Stevie. Superstition ain’t the way. No. No. Maybe? I have to admit, I have started to allow some twinge of belief in things I don’t understand. The list of things I don’t understand is pretty darn vast. What I am referring to are things of the superstitious variety. I am not talking about a belief in bad luck from walking under a ladder. What we are dealing with here is something much more real and sinister. My flirtation with superstition mostly deals with the power of suggestion. I have learned through trial and error there are certain things you just don’t say. For example, never ever say, “You know, I haven’t been kicked in a long time” or “We have not had to do a fetotomy this year.” It is also a good idea not to discuss how smoothly a day is going or how well a horse is behaving for a given procedure. I know it seems completely ridiculous but as soon as you speak of these things there seems to be unintended consequences. For the sake of this discussion, let’s refer to after-hour emergencies as “Night Club.” It is not exactly a club you want to be in, but if you’re going to join you have to know the rules. Actually there is only one rule. The one rule of Night Club is you don’t talk about Night Club. If you break the one rule of Night Club you will have to go to Night Club. I am on call as I am writing this, so I hope the rule only applies to the spoken word and not the written. Crap. The phone is ringing. (Two hours later) The number two rule of Night Club is you don’t write about Night Club. These rules are still a little fluid. Speaking of such I have one more Night Club superstition. It is more like a strong suggestion than a rule, but it may soon become Night Club Rule #3. When arriving home after a day of work, don't change your clothes. This is still a theory but it seems if you put on the comfy cotton tee and gym shorts you will soon be changing back into your dirty jeans and work boots. Unless I am completely covered in blood and manure and it would be a biohazard for me to come in contact with my kids, I don't change clothes until I am going to bed. I am currently testing out the theory as I sit here writing this in sweat pants and a tee shirt. These rules and suggestions may seem ridiculous, but don’t test them. I know it seems superstitious, but I don’t make the rules. I’m just resigned to believe in something I don’t understand. Crap. The phone is ringing again.
As I was driving along in my wife’s vehicle—which is equipped with satellite radio—I flipped to the “80s on 8” channel and was greeted by the ageless voice of Casey Kasem as he was deejaying a Top 20 hit list from the 1980s. Hearing his voice got me thinking about—if given a chance—what would be a Top 20 list of the best “horsey” songs? The only qualifications to make the list were that the songs: (a) had to be about a horse(s); (b) were about something equine-related; or (c) referenced a song about something equine-related. As you will see, this list is an amalgamation of various genres and artists, but they all, at least as far as I’m concerned, have a rightful place in my “Top 20 Horsey Songs of All Time.” 20. “Rappin’ Duke” by Rappin’ Duke. The opening lyrics say it all: So you think your bad with your rap / I tell ya Pilgrim I started the crap / When you were in diapers and wetting the sheets / I was at Ponderosa rapping to the beat. This song is also by someone who fashions himself (both lyrically and vocally) hip-hop’s John Wayne. 19. “Juicy” by The
Notorious B.I.G. I know, you’re probably
wondering how the late Brooklyn-born Big Poppa could have anything to do with a
horse or an equine-related activity. But
therein lies his genius. He referenced
the #20 song in one of his own best songs:
Remember Rappin’ Duke? Duh-ha duh-ha / You never thought hip-hop
would take it this far / Now I’m in the limelight cuz I rhyme tight. 18. “Even Cowgirls Get the Blues” by Emmylou Harris. Even though it’s a little whiny at times, I still really like Emmylou’s voice, and it fits this song well. It’s also not a half bad song to play the air-guitar to, especially during the guitar solo. 17. “Much Too Young
(to feel this damn old)” by Garth Brooks.
I’m not the biggest Garth Brooks fan, but a lot of his songs are catchy,
and there was a time back in the ‘90s when he nearly ruled the world (or at
list the country music charts). I like
this song because I can relate to some of the lyrics (To sleep would be best / But I just can’t afford to rest), and he
mentions the 16. “Back in the Saddle Again” by Gene Autry. Mr. Autry is the quintessential cowboy singer, and this song would make anyone’s Top 20 list. It also wants me to get a concealed weapons permit so I could be “Ridin’ the range once more / Totin’ my old 44.” 15. “Gallows Pole” by Led Zeppelin. I know, this one is also a stretch, but I had to find a way to work in one of my favorite bands of all time. Robert Plant does claim that he “Can see my friends comin’ / Ridin’ many a miles,” and I’m assuming he’s talking about his friends riding horses, so this song has a proper place in the countdown. 14. “Beer for My Horses” by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson. I’m sure a lot of people thought Toby and Willie were crazy, but—and just ask some of the old-school trainers—beer is considered a decent treatment for anhidrosis. Rumor has it Zenyatta preferred Guinness Stout when she was on the track. Nineteen wins in a row lends a lot of credibility for giving horses beer! 13. “Angel from Montgomery” originally by John Prine but nicely covered by Bonnie Raite. It seems more fitting for a woman to sing this song, and I’ve always been a Bonnie Raite fan. The pain and anguish in this song is nearly palpable, and I’m sure my wife (at times) wonders, “How in the hell can a person / Go to work in the morning / Come home in the evening / And have nothing to say?” (BTW: Bonnie wanting a “poster of an old rodeo” is why this song makes this list). 12. “Good life” by Kanye West. Okay, this song has nothing to do with horses—at least on the surface. But, when I think about my family, my job, and my friends, I, much like the Louis Vuitton Don himself, truly believe I’m living the Good Life (except, at times during the breeding season). 11. “Not Afraid” by Eminem. Again, a stretch, but hear me out on this one. While no overt horsey references are made, I’ve personally made up my own rap to the beat of this song. It’s called “His name is Blame” in honor of the 2010 Breeder’s Cup Classic Champion, and here’s a sampling of the lyrics: His name is Blame The best in the land Everybody, throw up your
hands He beat Zenyatta by a
nose And the rest of the
field by much mo’ Just lettin’ you know
that you’re not alone If you thought he’d bring the Classic home The LP and video are currently in production, so stay tuned for the upcoming release. 10. “Run for the Roses” by Dan Fogelberg. This song is a little corny, but when you watch it with clips from various races, it can give you goosebumps. 9. “Sweet Baby James” by James Taylor. James Taylor and his acoustic guitar go together like a rectal sleeve and my left arm…a perfect match! Seriously, not only are there a couple “horsey” references in this song, but I sing this song to my daughter every night before she goes to bed. Nope, her name ain’t James, but that’s what ad-libbing is for. 8. “Dead Flowers” by
the Rolling Stones. I love this song for
two reasons. Number one, they mention
one of my favorite sporting events: When you’re sitting back / In your rose-pink
Cadillac / Making bets on 7. “Cadillac Cowboy” by Chris Ledoux. GOD BLESS CHRIS LEDOUX! This song has one of the best choruses of all time: 10-4 buddy, come on back / A horse trailer on a Cadillac / Yeah, we’re talking to the cowboy / In the Coupe de Ville / Chug-a-luggin’ up one side / Slidin’ down the other / I’m a lover of the other side of the hill. Also, when we have a bad-acting mare on the twitch, I love nothing more than to tell the person holding her to “Hold tight with a leather fist / Watch out when she starts to twist.” 6. “Regulate” by Warren G featuring Nate Dogg. While not exactly containing any lyrics that are of the equine-persuasion, there is a sound bite from the movie, “Young Guns,” so it counts (at least according to my qualifications). It also features the late and great Nate Dogg, who somehow made (and probably smoked) millions of dollars singing in a gangsta monotone. 5. “My heroes have always been cowboys” by Willie Nelson. Speaking of smoking millions, what Top 20 list featuring songs about horses would be complete without Willie? Don’t worry, this one isn’t the only song of his that’ll pop up on the list. And while there are so many of his songs to choose from, certain lyrics in this song are so emotive (even downright haunting), that you want to reach through the speakers and help ease a cowboy’s sorrow by giving him a hug: Sadly in search of / But one step in back of / Themselves, and their slow-movin’ dreams. 4. “Tennessee Stud”
by Johnny Cash. The Man in Black
definitely deserves a spot on this countdown.
And after the first time I heard this song, I always wish that I had an
uncle named “Thud” just so I could tell everyone that he used to ride a “ 3. “Infield” by The
Nappy Roots. Since moving to *In case you’re in need of some translation: Nasty
‘Natti = 75 =
Interstate 75 that goes south from First
Saturday in May = Bourbon = Primary source of hydration in the county and state in which I live 2. “Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones. All I can say is, “Duh!” There’s no more appropriate “horsey” song than this one. Also, when Mick drones on about how he “Watched you suffer / A dull-aching pain” it touches something deep inside of me, and reminds me how I feel the next day after a cow-kick from a yearling. 1. “Mommas Don’t Let your babies grow up to be cowboys” by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson. Once again, DUH! This song is so obviously, and by far and away, my number one choice, that it was the first song I wrote down when I was coming up with this list. What makes this song so personally special to me is the fact that my dad (a physician) and his old roping partner (an attorney) proved Willie and Waylon that you could be both a cowboy and a doctor or lawyer (or such)!
What is in a horse’s name? Some are descriptive like the team roper that names every horse by its color. This is not real creative, but I like it because when I show up there I know I won’t forget their names: Bucky, Grey, Sorly, Roany, Yeller and so on. It’s like they have nametags on. Still other descriptor names may not be so obvious but can tell you a lot about the horse. Any horse named Lucky is going to be a real money maker for the clinic because he will be anything but. Gator will try to bite you. Sugar Ray will try to paw you. Then there’s Stinky. Well, just don’t stand behind Stinky. Other names can be tied to the culture of the breed and difficult to pronounce. This would include Arabian names with multiple Zs and not enough vowels, or the Warmblood name that has to start with a certain letter according to the year of birth so they add it to the front of some Dutch name. How the heck do you say Ybaartge? I kinda like the ones that are given human names. At least I can pronounce Bob. Then there is a name like Princess or Miss Perfect. Watch out because they are almost guaranteed to try and kill you at the sight of a needle. Still there are even more creative minds like the barrel racer that named her horse Someone. This is a unique name that has created some pretty humorous moments. I received a call from the client one night. This is what she said with shortness of breath when I answered the phone: “ Hey (with a pause to catch her breath). I was riding (horse’s name) a few minutes ago, and he started shaking and trembling so I got off of him (pause, breath). Now he is just standing there trembling and won’t move. What should I do?” She was not aware of how this sounded until I busted out laughing. I realize this was not the most professional response on my part, but you have to admit, that’s pretty darn funny. We continue to have fun at Someone’s expense, but what Someone does not know won’t hurt him. |
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American Association of Equine Practitioners |
